I need some hope

Anyone suffering from depression may post their history, experience, comments and/or suggestions. Please refrain from indepth discussions about medicines or other therapies.
Taylor42
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:42 pm

I need some hope

Post by Taylor42 » Thu Apr 13, 2017 3:28 pm

I am 24 years old and just graduated from college. I have struggled with depression all my life and have tried everything I can think of and everything my family can think of. It started out with anxiety which i have also had all my life. I had OCD when I was younger and it controlled my life. My birthday was last week and I was to anxious and sad to do anything. These three things have controlled my life. I have missed out on so many things and now my depression is my life. I cry all the time and I am so sick of living this way. I am afraid to drive, to leave the house, i never see my friends, I am to afraid to get a job. I want to be happy and love my life and love who I am but I hate waking up in the morning.

Yesterday was a bad day. I had therapy yesterday and I told my therapist I can't keep living like this anymore. She told me to go to an inpatient hospital. I came home, called the place, and they said they had a bed. They did the over the phone evaluation and the doctor said the outpatient program would be better for me. Its 4 weeks to 6 weeks but I have to wait 2 weeks. I don't even know if I can't with that long. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been really struggling for 8 months and no one should have to live like this.

I just want hope and someone to talk to.

P.S. I listen to the CD's at night and they are currently my "safe place".

coachchris
Posts: 671
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by coachchris » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:45 am

Hi Taylor,

This is Coach Chris from the coaching team here at stresscenter.com. Thank you for writing and reaching out. May I ask how long you have had the program and how are you doing practicing the 6 steps from lesson 2 along with turning negatives to positives?

I look forward to your reply.
Coach Chris
coachchris@stresscenter.com

Taylor42
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:42 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by Taylor42 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 7:12 pm

Hello Coach Chris,

My aunt bout the program for me about 4 months ago. I listened to the 1-9 CDs and then stopped because I wasn't feeling better. I don't think they were helping because i wasn't listening to each CD multiple times a week faithfully. Now I have been listening to them when I go to bed I am only on the third week and doing the journal and reading the journal. I bought the book Panic to Power and it is coming in the mail so I am looking forward to reading that.

I realized that it is very difficult for me to do positive self talk. I have been trying very hard to retrain my brain to think differently about myself but it is very hard for me. I have very low self-esteem because of how I was brought up. Right now I am job searching and out of school because I graduated in December so I don't have a 9-5 job and it is really hard for me to feel good about myself right now. I use to play basketball in college and start since freshman year....go out with friends...have class...big projects....two jobs during the summer. Now I just don't feel needed. The anxiety is turning into really bad depression and I just don't know what else to do. Every minute is a struggle for me.

P.S. Thank you for getting back to me!

coachchris
Posts: 671
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by coachchris » Wed Apr 26, 2017 3:06 pm

Hi Again Taylor,

Do you have the guidebook that goes along with the program? You mentioned you're doing the journal and reading it so I wasn't sure if that was the guidebook.

It's great to hear you understand your low self-esteem struggle. I would write out 10 things that make you valuable and are your strengths. Read through this list daily and continue to celebrate your successes with the program. I would also try and to get involved with a recreational basketball league at your local ymca or community center. Be patient with yourself as you are learning to be a positive, present moment thinker. It takes time and patient practice. It really helped me to talk to myself like I would a good friend.

Wishing you well in the job hunt too!

Coach Chris

coach21
Posts: 65
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 2:01 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by coach21 » Fri Apr 28, 2017 11:01 am

Hi Taylor,

Couldn't help but respond to your post because I too have experienced the symptoms of anxiety and depression of which you described thus I completely identify with how you feel. With the help of this program and a very talented therapist I did however successfully eliminate the anxiety and depression associated with OCD. As per "depression is my life..". know that the definition of depression is simply anger/frustration turned inward. We think ourselves into anxiety and depression and become frustrated because we lack the knowledge base and coping skills. Our confidence takes a hit which affects our ability to function i.e. "afraid to leave the house...afraid to drive...see my friends...afraid to get a job". I have successfully helped many individuals help themselves re-establish their confidence and through my journey of recovery I have accumulated a lot of resources to share. Feel free to e-mail me anytime through this site or directly at mpscully621@gmail.com for support. You are a success happening. God bless.

Kelseystar
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2018 12:53 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by Kelseystar » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:33 pm

Hi Taylor,
I have recently been added to this Stress Center Peer Support group, and I was reading through the blogs and came across yours. I have suffered from depression in the past and currently. This program has really helped me as well as other positive support groups. I wanted to check in to see how you were doing and if you did the program at the inhome hospital? I would love to hear how you are doing, I will pray for you!

- Kelsey

Taylor42
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:42 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by Taylor42 » Tue Mar 12, 2019 1:42 pm

Hello Kelsey,

I am just wondering if you are still on this website. I feel like no one is ever on the forum or participates really. Just wondering if you would care to talk.

Taylor

WebAdmin
Site Admin
Posts: 58
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 7:53 am

Re: I need some hope

Post by WebAdmin » Tue Mar 12, 2019 4:38 pm

HI Taylor,

How are you?
Feel free to email me if you need anything. coachchris@stresscenter.com
The forums are slow but we continue to get new people everyday so keep trying to reach out.
We need each other:)

Taylor42
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:42 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by Taylor42 » Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:34 pm

Hello Coach Chris,

I am trying to reach out to people but i am not getting anything back. I just am struggling with anxiety and depression and i just feel very stuck and scared. I am trying the program for a second time and I am still not doing good. Anxiety and depression currently control my life. I would love some feedback or encouragement. Right now i really need that....

Thank you,

Taylor

Taylor42
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:42 pm

Re: I need some hope

Post by Taylor42 » Tue Mar 26, 2019 3:36 pm

Also I have been trying to get in touch with Coach 21?

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