Page 1 of 1

Speaking up

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 10:18 am
by Clarysage
Had an opportunity to be assertive today at work. My first reaction toward the person was anger. I felt they were imposing their opinion on me over some trivial thing at work plus they seem to be "correcting" me - as if they were my superior- which they are not, and I did not like it. I disagreed with them. I spoke up for myself and I wasn't nasty or mean. I just stated calmly and matter of fact-ly my stand. Nothing else happened at the moment, however he was annoyed at me for not just caving in to his domination/manipulation. I challenged him, which he is not used to apparently.
So, when this happened I was upset and immediately felt anxious and very uncomfortable I could hardly contain myself. I was able to get away for a minute and went to my car. I calmed myself and realized too that this is like an ego thing or power/control issue. To win or to be right. I was able to relax using the "so what" method. So what if he's right/wrong or if I am right/wrong. UGH! It's not a big deal. It was intensely uncomfortable for about 20 minutes and it slowly dissipated over the next hour. It is amazing to me when I observe myself in these scenario's. All this fear and unrest inside of me. I am moving through it and growing in understanding and awareness and that is good.
It is a relief to not have to be perfect and if I mess up that is okay too. I am learning.
Later on he didn't say anything else about the issue and was nice to me the rest of the day. :)

Re: Speaking up

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 5:59 pm
by Paisleegreen
That's great, clarysage! I have had those same feelings when I've stood up for my self. It is a strange feeling...b/c we are use to not being so assertive. I had to do that with my Dad at one time. He had been criticizing my husband and twelve year old son, years ago. The criticism was unfounded and unfair and I stood up to him. It was the worst feeling b/c I never talked that way to my Dad before, I never had to talk to him like that b/c he was a gentle soul in his younger years or when I was younger.

But when he started to attack my husband and son, not to their face but to me, I defended them and my "voice" reminded me of my Mother when she would defend my Dad's criticism of my brother who was a bit "slow". It was an odd feeling. :| But needed to be done. Paislee