Over Apologetic and guilty about having anxiety

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself; your feelings, concerns, and opinions and ask for what you want. Also, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty
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Lena Hourglass
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Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:32 pm

Post by Lena Hourglass » Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:23 am

Last night, I felt like I ruined a trip for a friend because I felt nauseous at dinner and could not calm myself or eat much. It was probably anxiety or IBS, but I had to sit there and feel lousy picking at my food and not talking much. I repeatedly apologized for ruining dinner and our girl's night out. She assured me that she has kids and thus could be patient. That made me feel bad and immature. It seemed as though I was behaving childish, wimpy or pathetic in her eyes. So I apologized some more.

A couple of weeks ago, the same thing happened at breakfast (Dennis) with my dad. While I apologized, he was irritated and annoyed. He hurriedly ate his breakfast, paid the bill, and got me a to-go box.

If this happens again in either situation with family or friends, what should I do/say?

I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I worry and feel guilty about embarrassing the people I am with because of my anxiety.

angela chriss
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Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 12:25 am

Post by angela chriss » Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:49 am

i do the same thing, trust me if i knew the answer i would say... however... i tell my boyfriend/friends.. this is how i am at the moment, either \deal with it. or dont invite me til im ready.. but u need to the nake decision to control it and not let it control u. easier said than done.. the next time it happens, go to the restroom, splash some water on ur face, and speak to urself in the mirror! " why am i feeling like this" its just anxiety and im having a goodtime, ill deal with u later". it helps me. and snap out of it.. and say,, ok im fine now..

u have to focus on it.. or if u have a cell phone with internt, keep this forum saved, so when u feel anxious, u can destract yourself online, for a moment, and come back to reality.. that also helps me.. i pretend lucinda is next to me, walking me thru the feelings...
"when u know better, u do better"

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Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2009 9:28 pm

Post by Shifrah » Tue Aug 18, 2009 10:34 am

Lena I too am quick to be apologetic. And then I get annoyed at myself for being that way. I'm a lot better than before though.

Angela is right - it's just the anxiety and so what if you don't feel well or not talkative?

They don't really care as much as you think they do. It's always that way!

I've had people apologize to me for something I could not remember. They will call me and e-mail me a couple hours after we met. They tell me that they are sorry if they were being a certain way, and I reply "huh?"

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

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Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Post by NinjaFrodo » Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:04 pm

would you expect someone to appologize profusely if they couldn't eat because of nausea due to anxiety?

Did you choose to be anxious? Do you really have any control over it right now?

Is it possible that your dad does not like the fact that someone (including yourself), is beating up on you and thats why he got irritated and annoyed?

Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087

You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog


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Post by Hiya~ » Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:28 am


Would you beat up on your girlfriend if she wasn't a chatty cathy? You'd probably ask her what's wrong, yeah, but be glad she showed up!

For me, when something doesn't go how I expected it, i.e. mega anxiety, I'm apologizing for missing out on something I, personally, had anticipated. Like, I'm bummed I missed out on a fun girl's night.

But I realized I can't be too hard on myself! And when I'm not, other people aren't either :)

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