The change and how i feel about it

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself; your feelings, concerns, and opinions and ask for what you want. Also, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty
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NinjaFrodo
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am

Post by NinjaFrodo » Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:30 am

So I'm on lesson 7 right now and I'm feeling pretty good about where i am, I've not mastered positive thinking or calling on the relaxation response when I face anxiety but I'm getting to a point where I'm starting to be less afraid of the anxiety.

I still have lots of anxiety when it comes to being assertive. This is a skill I never really practiced and got good at the last 9 or so times i've gone through the program. I feel a little guilty when i do it actually. The I feel statements i'm not to bad with but saying "I need this from you" or "What I need from you is..." is difficult as I feel that i'm being rude or inconsiderate. As difficult as it was I had the opportunity to use this via an email that i had to send and i'm going to show you word for word what i said.

The situation is that I didn't think i would have the money available for my gym to withdraw to pay for my membership fees.

Subject: membership payment

Hi, My name is Mike Cameron and I was told to email you about my issue. There is suppose to be an automatic withdraw from Extreme Fitness on the 1st of November and currently I don't have the funds but i should have them by the 15th of November. What I need is for you to change the withdraw date so the withdraw doesn't bounce. Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Thank you,

Mike Cameron


And the response

Hi Mike,

I have put the payment to STOP both for your membership pymt Nov 1st and pt pymt Nov 15th. Nothing will be automatically withdrawn. The only effectt this is that I see that you use the gym often and once I stop the payment your membership changes to STOP status and you will get stopped at the front desk. Only way to avoid this is I will leave you my business card signed with an expiry date that you can use along with your membership card the facility until you are able to make the payment.

Today will be the only day I am at Dundas until next week. I will leave you an envelope at the front desk with my signed card to use along with your membership card. I will put Nov 20 as an expiry date. Pleasecontact me directly by then to amke arrangements for the payment.

Please let me know when you will be in next so I can let the reception staff know when you will be picking up the envelope.

Also it seems we do not have a current address and phone number on file. If you can email me the details of the new information.


Thank you




After that's been said I've also noticed that saying things like "can you do this for me" or "is it possible to do..." as well as saying please too much and appologizing alot doesn't work and people see that as a weakness & they try to manipulate me. I wonder if thanking too much also gives off that impression



Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087

You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog

http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/

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