really starting to struggle

Respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself; your feelings, concerns, and opinions and ask for what you want. Also, learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty
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Post by Mystikal1231 » Fri Oct 22, 2010 1:53 am

Well here I am still in session 7 & I feel stuck. I have always been such a "doormat". I understand why I should stand up for myself more and things, but actually doing it is a whole new story. Just thinking about it makes me VERY anxious. I guess I need to keep working on that self-esteem. I probably just don't feel good enough about myself to be able to do this. I did go and by some self-esteem books, hopefully those will help. Somewhere deep in my mind I know I am worth it, but for some reason I have trouble seeing it... likes it back there in my mind, but not yet in my heart....

I've kept my self going - all the way here, I don't want to stop now. but I just don't know how to keep going....

maybe I should just listen to 7 a few times and work on implimenting it later. Don't know if that's a good idea either though....

ahhhh what to do what to do....
** How can you give love to others, or recieve love of others - if you can not 1st love yourself? **

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Post by NinjaFrodo » Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:26 pm

Well what exactly does it take to have worth? What is your idea of worth?

Well you could practice with us online...the ones going through the challenge posts (ie the challenge...lesson 7). I actually created a thread in lesson 7 for assertiveness practice. If you have a situation then we can practice that if you'd like so you can feel more comfortable. Its easier to practice stuff online to get some confidence and then you can feel more comfortable to do it in person. Its a transition.

Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting ... 52&t=25087

You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog

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Post by Mystikal1231 » Fri Nov 05, 2010 4:01 am

it's funny I use the word, but don't really have much of a deffinition for it. That is something I will have to ponder more what does it take to have worth and what my idea of worth.

I like your idea of making a "practicing" thread. I will keep that in mind. it's funny I am trying to think of a situation and my mind now comes to a blank. Guess it's like the negative thinking - I'll have to write it down as it comes up....

Thank you for your reply.

I haven't "stopped" the program, but at this point I don't feel I'm ready to go to much further, so I have been re-listening to sessions 1-7 and working on my self-esteem. I know the program helps w/that also, but mine is sooooooo low it's hard to do this stuff sometimes.

But I am proud to say I HAVE NOT/WILL not give up. I can and will get better. One step at a time.

Thanks for your reply Mike!!!
** How can you give love to others, or recieve love of others - if you can not 1st love yourself? **

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Post by Paisleegreen » Tue Nov 09, 2010 7:00 am

You will get better...I practiced doing similar steps like what Mike is doing w/ my DR. He would have me take a pillow and make believe I am talking to the person who hurt my feelings or have a problem with. Then he would have me turn the pillow over as if that person is talking to me and I would say what I think they are thinking.

When I couldn't think of anything, the DOC with speak for them. Then I was to turn the pillow over again and respond to that comment. The Doc would help me again if I felt stumped. I did get well enough that I weaned myself off of Wellbutrin and Xanax until my first panic attack 2 months later after some stressful events.

So this way of working on your self esteem works! I also changed some of my activities where I was out of the house volunteering or doing something I enjoyed doing and hadn't done for awhile.

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